I Don’t Want to Breastfeed My Baby

“I don’t want to breastfeed my baby.” Guess what? You don’t have to, and that’s okay. Bottom line, end of article.

[Kidding] The breastfeeding journey is one that is pushed onto the vast majority of birth parents, but that doesn’t mean it’s for everyone. The societal pressure to breastfeed is one that many people can struggle with, even when it’s detrimental to their mental health. The truth of the matter is, as parents, we sacrifice so much of ourselves both mentally and physically and the pressure to conform to the high standard of breastfeeding can make us feel like we are somehow lacking. But that’s just not true. The decision of how to feed your child is an extremely personal one that only you get to make, and it’s okay if that plan doesn’t include breastfeeding. 

Preparation for choosing not to breastfeed:

If you make the choice not to breastfeed prior to birth, having a plan on how and what you’ll be feeding your baby is a great way to start with confidence. There are options! It really depends on what not breastfeeding looks like to you. Does it mean not putting your baby to the breast at all? Exclusively pumping? There are also fantastic options like donor milk or formula if you don’t want any engagement with breastfeeding at all! For milk banks, there are often reputable sources through your local hospital or online. Formula is another great option. With so many brands out there, doing your research prior to birth and stocking up can give you a sense of relief when it comes to making sure your little one is fed. 

At the hospital and pediatricians office: 

One of the biggest things you’ll quickly learn is that you may have to advocate for yourself. This isn’t just in relation to breastfeeding, but unfortunately doctors and pediatricians will often push for parents to consider breastfeeding, even if for a short while. Though it may be difficult, the fact of the matter is that this is your body and your baby. No is a full sentence and you are absolutely entitled to make that decision. 

Another thing to be aware of is that even if you don’t plan to breastfeed,  your body may still produce milk. Speak with your doctor about how to manage the discomfort for the time it lasts and be sure not to pump or hand express, or more milk can be produced. 

Breastfeeding Pressure and Social Media:

One of the downsides of living in the world today is that social media can affect our mental well-being. Doomscrolling through pregnancy and postpartum accounts that promote a “breast is best” mentality can take a toll. So many accounts will try to fear monger you into at least trying to breast feed. They will have charts! Pictures of smiling babies at the boob and crying babies with a bottle! You must be crazy to not want to have that bond with your baby, right? Wrong!

The guilt that you might feel after seeing these videos is normal. It is hard to make these decisions, especially when you might feel like you’re being pushed or judged for feeding your baby formula. It can feel isolating, but know that you aren’t wrong, selfish or less than for feeding your baby how you want to feed your baby. 

Here’s the thing, there are accounts out there that will support YOUR journey too. It’s important to find your people, be that online or in person. 

How not breastfeeding can effect your baby:

If you choose to formula feed, note that not all formulas are equal. Your little one may need some adjustments if one brand of formula is making them gassy or giving them trouble. It can take a few tries to get it right and that’s okay! Not every baby is the same and some handle formulas differently.

Your baby may need to switch to goats milk formula or have a dairy allergy/sensitivity (which happens in breastfed babies too!) so just keep in mind that you may have to switch it up to keep that little cutie comfortable. Give each formula 2 weeks to settle before trying another option.

It’s okay if you don’t want to breastfeed your baby!

The biggest thing to remember is that if you decide not to breastfeed for whatever reason, it is valid. You do not have to quantify it to anyone or feel anything less than happy that you will have a baby who you love dearly and loves you right back just as much.

We put so much pressure on ourselves to meet the societal standard of perfection, but there’s nothing perfect about forcing yourself to do anything you aren’t comfortable with. You got this, and if you ever need support, Well Supported Family is here for you.