Introducing Toddler to New Baby: 12 Tips from a Newborn Care Specialist

Are you welcoming your second baby and worried about introducing your toddler to their new sibling? 

First off, congratulations! Expanding your family can be beautiful… but it can also bring about a load of uncertainty. Your first baby has your whole heart, so how can you find room for more love for your second? How will your firstborn cope with there being a new baby? How should you introduce them? Don’t worry, you will find that extra love the second you feel your baby moving around or smell that addicting scent from the top of their little baby heads. It might take some time, but your toddler will come around to your newest addition, especially if you do some prep work. 

At Well Supported Family, we’ve helped hundreds of families to adjust to life with a newborn–whether that’s helping with newborn sleep, overnight feeding, hygiene … and even the family dynamics of introducing a baby to older siblings. If you need hands-on support with navigation these transitions, book a consultation now for our in-home newborn care services. 

The transition from one child to two starts long before the baby is born.

6 Tips for introducing toddler to a new sibling before birth:

1. Talk that baby up to your toddler! 

Let your toddler be in on the secret as soon as you can! Creating a bubble of excitement between your partner, yourself and your toddler will allow them to feel like the incoming baby is something to look forward to. 

2. Read books with your toddler about their new sibling 

There are books specifically tailored for toddlers that are all about becoming a bigger sibling and what having a new baby around will be like. Toddlers absorb information through books and reading very well. Make sure to tie the book into your own family dynamic. We recommend:

•  The Baby is Here from Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood
• You Were The First by Stephanie Graegin and Patricia MacLachlan
• Becoming Siblings from We Are Little Feminists 
• When You’re Older by Sofie Laguna

 3. Let your toddler help create the nursery. 

We don’t fully recommend letting a toddler choose a theme, unless you’re very brave, but showing them options for wallpaper, crib sheets, toys and more can help them feel included.

4. Get a gift from the baby to your toddler. 

Make sure the gift giving is reciprocal, get them something they’ve been eyeing or a toy of something they’re currently obsessed with. 

5. Have them talk to the baby in your belly. 

While they may see your partner talking to your belly, allowing them to speak to the baby and feel the baby moving can help form a connection before the baby even arrives. 

6. Plan to have backup support. 

Having a Newborn Care Specialist to help you with overnights can help you during the day as well. Being able to focus and spend quality time with your toddler instead of being sleep deprived from those long, newborn overnights will help ease the tension for everyone.

5 tips for Introducing toddler to baby at the hospital and home:

When the time comes for your toddler to meet your newborn in person, there are ways to help create a smooth transition. 

1. Facetime with your toddler from the hospital and show off your new baby! Let them know when they’ll be able to visit and make sure to ask them about how they are. Be aware that your toddler may get upset at seeing you on the camera and not being able to be with you, so ask their caregiver to be ready to end the call and redirect their attention to something fun! 
2. Have your toddler and baby meet in a neutral environment. The hospital is a great place for the first meeting. Have the baby in the bassinet and not the birthing parents arms to begin. This way the toddler can see the baby without jealousy and can also have space to give and receive love from their parents after a few days away.
3. Give the baby and toddler gifts! After your toddler warms up to the situation or starts becoming disinterested in the baby, the gifts can come out. 
4. Allow your toddler to hold the baby, but also give them space to decline if they aren’t ready. The promotion to older sibling can be overwhelming, make sure your toddler is ready to hold the baby and don’t force it on them. 
5. Make time for your toddler. It might be difficult to carve out toddler only time with a newborn, but finding half an hour to focus on them or bring them to do something as simple as getting ice cream can make them feel seen. 

The biggest thing to remember is that your toddler comes with a lot of feelings. They’re still learning how to process big emotions and all that comes with being human.

 This is one of the biggest changes they’ll encounter in their young lives, and while they may love it and be excited, it might also be laced with fear and hesitation. Letting them know they will always be a priority through not only words, but actions, will help create a safe space for them to grow into the role of a sibling. 

Take it slow and keep their needs in mind, talk the baby up before they get there and know that some days might be harder than others. Just know that in time you’ll be able to see an incredibly beautiful relationship grow between your children, and it will all be worth it.