RIE Parenting: Raising Confident, Independent Babies Through Respectful Care

When I was 21, I thought I knew all I could possibly know about how to raise a newborn. My mom took in dozens of foster babies as I was growing up. And by this time I had worked as a nanny, a Newborn Care Specialist, Sleep Consultant and as a daycare teacher in infant and toddler rooms. I was on my last internship of my Early Childhood Education degree, when my teacher proposed a “special” child care center to me. This infant room was based on the principles of RIE.

I walked in and was shellshocked.

The first couple days the center seemed cruel and cold. I couldn’t understand why these babies were laid down to fall asleep by themselves with no rocking or pacifier. I couldn’t understand why we couldn’t hold or play with the infants while they were awake. I couldn’t understand why the bigger babies were being fed on laps instead of in a high chair…in fact there WERE no high chairs. [Or bouncy seats, or exersaucers, or props or containers of any type.] It was unlike any infant environment I had ever been in.

Nevertheless, I wasn’t there to judge, I was there to learn. So I observed, and I listened, and I read. And…I fell in love. I noticed the “ignored” babies were happy. I noticed babies sitting independently sooner than the babies I’ve worked with before. I noticed that the children in the older classrooms were patient, kind and respectful with one another. Like literally anything when it comes to parenting, I didn’t take 100% of it with me. But almost ten years later, the more I observe, experience…and read, the more confident I am that RIE can really change the game when it comes to parenting babies!

RIE Parenting is a parenting philosophy on raising independent babies.. It’s pronounced like rye bread, but it’s actually an acronym for Resources for Infant Educarers.

I could go on all day about the history, the science, the studies behind where RIE came from and proving its place on the table…but because you’re probably scanning this at nap time , so we’ll just touch on the basics!

The History of RIE Parenting

The RIE® (Resources for Infant Educarers) philosophy was founded in 1978 by educator Magda Gerber and Dr. Tom Forrest. Building on the work of pediatrician Emmi Pikler in Hungary, Gerber introduced the “Educaring®” approach: viewing babies as whole human beings from birth, offering trust, respectful interaction, and few interruptions in their exploration of the world. Over the decades, RIE has influenced both in-home parenting and early childhood education by promoting uninterrupted play, sensitive observation, and a partnership-based relationship between caregiver and child.

RIE contrasts with overstimulation or overhelping. Rather than constantly entertaining or stepping in, caregivers create a safe space, communicate clearly, and give babies time to explore and learn.

Magda Gerber put it simply: “An infant always learns. The less we interrupt, the more learning takes place.”

If you become interested and want to read more, I recommend the book Your Self Confident Baby, by Magna Gerber.

The Philosophy in a Sentence

RIE invites parents to slow down, observe, and interact with intention. It resonates with modern families who want a responsive approach that also provides calm structure and predictable routines.

Core Principles of RIE

• Respect for babies as whole people

• Observation before intervention.

• Trust in a baby’s natural abilities

• Predictability through simple, consistent routines

• Free movement instead of restrictive gear

For more simple practices, see Janet Lansbury’ s RIE Parenting Basics.

RIE in Action: 7 Ways to Practice Respectful Infant Care

1. Slow Down and Observe Before Acting

Watch before intervening. Babies communicate through body language and cues. If your baby is looking at something peacefully, stay out of their space and let them observe. Listen to your baby when they push their bottle out of their mouth. You’ll start to learn your baby and their cues if you’re able to take the time to slow down and observe. [Easier said than done, we’re aware!]

Example: 1 month old. Dad intentionally feeds the baby, snuggles the baby, holds her upright while she burps and digests for a moment…then lays her on her play gym and walks away. He does laundry. She looks at her play mat for 20 minutes, then she starts whimpering. Dad listens and comes into the room within her sight but doesn’t “save her”. He works on some emails on the other side of the room for another ten minutes. She starts to grunt and fuss. He moves over close to her. He doesn’t shake a rattle in her face. He doesn’t swoop her up. He’s just there. She looks over at him and yawns. He is aware that she’s been awake almost an hour, and he respects her sleepy cue. He says, “You look tired, lets get some rest. I’m going to put you to bed now.” And they head to the bedroom for naptime.

2. Speak to Your Baby as a Partner

Babies thrive when they are spoken to, not at. RIE teaches that communication begins long before language. Narrating what you’re doing: “I’m going to pick you up now” or “I’m wiping your bum now and the wipe is cold” helps your baby feel secure and respected. Over time, they learn to anticipate transitions and respond calmly because they trust your words and tone.

When you treat your baby as a partner, you’re building the foundation for cooperation later on. This small act of inclusion creates babies who are used to being listened to, and who listen in return.

Example: During a diaper change, you pause to say, “I’m going to lift your legs now so I can put on your clean diaper.” Even though your baby can’t answer, they start to connect your words with your actions, which builds both trust and communication skills.

3. Create Predictable Routines

Routines are how babies learn that the world is safe and reliable. When care moments like feeding, diapering, and bedtime follow a gentle rhythm, babies can relax and use their energy to explore and grow.

At Well Supported Family, this principle is the heartbeat of what we do. Our Newborn Care Specialists help families establish simple, age-appropriate routines that balance flexibility with structure. Whether that means consistent bedtime rituals or predictable feeding windows, these patterns teach babies that their needs will be met—and help parents feel more confident, too.

Predictability doesn’t mean rigidity; it means creating flow. When babies know what to expect, they feel secure enough to rest, play, and engage with the world around them.

4. Encourage Independent Play with YES spaces

Yes spaces are safe spaces for uninterrupted exploration.

If you take anything from this way of parenting- take the yes space! All parenting styles benefit from this. In an ideal yes space you could be dealing with an emergency in a different area of the house for 6 hours and know that your child is safe. Now, you are not going to do that. But knowing you can take a shower or even just have a BM with your baby/toddler being safe is a game-changer.

A yes space can be a big pack ‘n play, it can be a gated bedroom, or a designated, gated-off playroom or area of the living room. You need to consider all potential hazards. Pets, outlets, blinds, small toys of older children, etc. With multiple children, I recommend that the yes space is safe for the youngest party involved, and the older children’s toys can be stored in their bedrooms or in pull-out bins/containers that are stored outside of the yes space.

Independence also ties into sleep. Babies that are given the space to learn to sleep on their own often do so within the first 3-4 months and don’t need to be sleep trained or CIO later in life! Win-win-win.

5. Prioritize Care Moments Over Entertainment

Diapering, feeding, and bathing as opportunities for connection. Since you’re trying to give them more space in the in-between moments, you want to be fully present for caretaking tasks.

When you feed your baby, put down your phone and make eye contact, sing songs, and snuggle them close. When you’re giving them a bath, talk about the body parts you wash and the water temperature. Let them know when you’re going to wash their hair. Be fully present in the moments that count.

6. Allow Natural Motor Development

Avoid forcing milestones (e.g., sitting or walking early).

This is difficult for some parents to grasp. RIE recommends not putting babies into positions that they cannot get themselves into. [I highly recommend the article Don’t Stand me up  by Janet Lansbury]. This means do not sit your baby up surrounded by pillows or put them in a bumbo chair until they are able to get themselves into that position. Do not put babies in a jumparoo or exersaucer before they are standing on their own.

I went to school for Occupational Therapy after my RIE experiences and was surprised to find how much data supported this. Babies need to strengthen their core first and the only way to do that correctly is floor time. Back and belly moving around on their own. Yes, they get frustrated. But that frustration is motivation. If you sit them up or hold them every time they whimper there is a term for that…learned helplessness. [Doesn’t sound great does it?]

Children raised with RIE tend to sit crawl and walk earlier…and later on their quality of movement is noticeably different from their peers.

How Our Newborn Care Specialists Embrace This Respectful Parenting Style

Our Newborn Care Specialists naturally integrate the principles of RIE into their care. They observe before they act, allowing babies to communicate their needs rather than assuming what those needs are. On our overnight shifts, we often use a brief pause to see whether the baby truly needs intervention, giving a moment to self-settle. We also focus on routines and hold a confident expectation that babies can do more than parents often believe.

RIE’s respect-based approach aligns with our philosophy: babies thrive when treated as capable participants in their own care. Our team helps parents find balance by offering expert guidance while honoring each baby’s individuality.

Looking for in-home help?

The early weeks with your baby are full of change, but you don’t have to navigate them alone. Our vetted Newborn Care Specialists provide calm, responsive support that helps both parents and babies feel well supported.

Book a discovery call to find the right match for your family and learn how gentle, evidence-based newborn care can make your postpartum experience smoother and more restful.

Special Guest Post by Karina McCarthy, Chief Operating Officer of Well Supported Family.